Birthing Class - Remember: It's supposed to be beautiful!

I think everyone laughs a little bit when you say you are going to a birthing class. And it's because most people know that at some point, you are going to be seeing videos (or at least pictures) of parts of the human female anatomy in compromising positions with babies in various stages of ..ummm..exposure.  This particular class certainly did not disappoint. Not only were there videos of a live birth, but of a C-section as well. And let's not forget the book that covered everything else inbetween. 

And let it be known that if you are taking these classes from the Nesting Place in Grapevine - do NOT, under ANY circumstances, be the last male to arrive.  I had texted Brent saying that we were there and what kind of place was this - and all he basically said was "don't be last - don't be last".  Seemed strange but ok - so I bolted for the door with Emily in tow.  I owe Brent for this little tidbit of advice because if you are the last male to arrive, then you get to be the "demo" guy. And not only that, you get your name changed to a girlie name while you are up there.  I won't go into the whole deal with the poor couple who were last and the guy only spoke German. He was horrified, his wife was telling him what to do in German, and all he kept saying was "hilfe!" (help!)

Our instructor sought out Emily and said she looked familiar. Turns out she works at Emily's OBGYN - which is fine - but I didn't want the instructor lady to think that was some sort of connection that would allow her to feel comfortable volunteering me to do stuff.  Teresa was great though, and she answered everyones questions - was very calm and actually provided a lot of good information.

Emily and I both agreed that the most useful information (apart from more indepth info on the birthing process) was about the hospital processes and how all of that worked.  It was really surprising for us how much there was to do and what the various rules are etc.  Who can come, when can they come, how labor and delivery rooms differ from postpartum. All that stuff very interesting.

At the end of the course, we practiced breathing exercises and simulated pushing. That's right - ladies - on your backs, legs up and let's practice a 10 count pushing. Only deal was the ladies were told to hold their breath instead of pushing because they might "spring a leak".  That caused all the ladies to run to the bathroom. The visual of this is 10 couples with the gal on her back (supported by pillows) and the guy holding her one leg in the air while pushing up on her back counting through 10 to simulate the pushing/contraction. After about 10 minutes of this, Teresa says - "Ok guys - your turn!". We all laughed - nervously - because we thought she was kidding. But nooooo she was not.  So, all of us guys had to get on our back while the gals held our leg in the air, supporting our backs and yelled push push push. Thing is - Teresa said we won't spring a leak so she wanted to see pushing - head-vain sticking out, red-faced, abdominal moving pushing. The whole thing was horrifying. But funny at the same time because none of the gals had the strength to hold the guys legs and push on the back at the same time.

In then end, I believe the class was a good use of time. I think we learned some new things, but also confirmed some things we didn't know.  You can judge me if you want, but the birthing process is messy, liquidy, painful and lacks modesty. And the most disturbing piece of it all (at least for Em)- No, you may NOT wear a jogging bra under your gown.  Sorry!